


i'd say i didn't want to but i'd be lying

by ram (miggimaggi)



Category: Minecraft (Video Game)
Genre: Angst, Enderman Hybrid Ranboo (Video Blogging RPF), Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Hurt/Comfort, I think it counts, Kleptomania, Piglin Hybrid Technoblade (Video Blogging RPF), Ranboo Angst (Video Blogging RPF), Ranboo Needs a Hug (Video Blogging RPF), Ranboo-centric (Video Blogging RPF), Tags Are Hard, Winged Phil Watson (Video Blogging RPF), most these tags are for ranboo
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-17
Updated: 2021-01-17
Packaged: 2021-03-14 22:02:25
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,612
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28802505
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/miggimaggi/pseuds/ram
Summary: Ranboo knew he shouldn't. He knew he shouldn't want to take things that weren't his. He knew he shouldn't enjoy taking things that don't belong to him. But... he could only ignore the way those urges clawed at the back of his mind for so long before he really couldn't stop himself.He just wished it didn't hurt so much to keep it all in.( In which Ranboo has been fighting within himself for too long with no one to talk with )
Relationships: Ranboo & Phil Watson (Video Blogging RPF), Ranboo & Technoblade & Phil Watson (Video Blogging RPF), Ranboo & Technoblade (Video Blogging RPF), Technoblade & Phil Watson (Video Blogging RPF)
Comments: 22
Kudos: 628





	1. Pushing Excuses

**Author's Note:**

> hello, im Ram and ive spent too much time on this fic that was only supposed to be a 2k fic of me projecting about my intrusive thoughts of stealing but here we are,,, ive currently got 2/3 chaps done but ive got impatient and decided to post the two ive got before i even finish the third :]
> 
> uh anyways, enjoy the fic

Techno and Phil had left an hour ago, leaving Ranboo to sit in his hut by himself. At first, the temptation to go into the main house was chalked up to wanting to go sit by the fire. It was getting colder out as it was nearing sundown. Logically the endermen hybrid knew he was allowed to do that; Phil had told him a thousand times, neither him nor Techno cared if he invited himself in. But, the small, flickering thought of him doing something he could regret later kept him rooted to the small bed. The chest, the one hidden underneath his bed to keep him from thinking about it, was calling him. It mocked him, reminded him that he was nothing other than a thief who if left by himself would take anything and everything for his own. 

  


“I bet Ranbun would like to go inside…” The words left his mouth, a lame excuse he recognized right away... but he also knew there was truth behind the statement. The cold affected Ranbun more than it did himself, she was only a small creature with fur a little too thin for a bunny living in the snowy biome. The boy turned his head to look at the enclosure, and Ranbun was nowhere to be seen. The only proof of her existence was the slight ruffle underneath the large mound of blankets he had stuffed in the pen the day after he lost her. A small, chirp of a laugh split through his lips at the sight. 

  


“Ok, well maybe not then. You're definitely fairing better than I am, Ranbun. All snuggled up and warm in those blankets,” Ranboo stood up, enjoying the soft pop of his joints as he stretched. “I’m sure you'd like some food though, huh?” Another excuse tumbled past his lips, “yeah, I'm sure they have more carrots up in the main house. I’m sure they wouldn't mind if I took a few carrots, they've got plenty to share.” 

  


As much as he didn't want to, his own feet seemed to drag him up to the cabin.  _ You shouldn't be going in their house without asking _ , one part of him argued as Ranboo watched his own hand push open the front door. _ But they said you could, they've welcomed you a thousand times into this house, you're just being annoying at this point by worrying every time _ , another part of himself whispered back as he stepped into the house. 

  


“It’s fine, this is fine. I’m just here for some carrots. That's all… yeah exactly. Carrots for Ranbunny,” Ranboo made his way down the ladder onto the ground floor and started looking through some chests. As much as his mind whispered to him to grab a golden apple or a spare piece of iron, despite him already having those things back in his own hut, the hybrid couldn't deny the fact that ignoring those types of thoughts became harder with the more chests he opened. It only took five chests before he found a stack of carrots but the war going on between; _ just take it, they won't notice, just take them, you could slip this into your inventory if you just grab it, just take it _ , and the;  _ do you want to be kicked away again? To lose the closest thing to friends you've got? You'd die on your own, you'd die of loneliness and sorrow because you can't keep friends, no one wants to friends with someone who takes their things all the time-- _

  


Ranboo ripped his body away from the chests and hurriedly climbed back up the ladder. He had his carrots now, there wasn't a reason for him to be in the house anymore. The small fireplace caught his attention as he pulled himself off the ladder. The ender hybrid spared a glance to the front door, then out the window at the light, small flakes of snow wisping about in the breeze. Slowly, he turned to face the fireplace again.

  


“I should go, I should go-- but the fire... I’m sure Techno and Phil would prefer to come home to a warm house anyways.” He sat himself down in front of the fire and put a few logs in. It didn't take long for the room to warm up, it was a small room afterall. And, for the time being, Ranboo was able to sit with a quiet mind, and drift off somewhere else. Everytime the fire would dull down to a few, small flames, the ender hybrid would come back to the land of the living and put another log in. He was glad he chose to sit himself by the fire instead of going back to the hut. 

  


The hut was lonely. It was a sad, little excuse of a home that Ranboo had built to get out of Phil and Techno’s hair. They were so nice, they didn't mind Ranboo living with them or when he forgot things or when he would panic; they were patient with him. He knew he was allowed to build a bigger house, the older blonde had been encouraging him and Techno had recently been making more comments on the lack of a house he had. But whenever he thought of building himself a better home, he fought with himself.

  


No matter how many times he thought of how they cared and how he cared for them, the reminder of what had clawed from his mind and almost into action downstairs repeated back the notion that no matter how much he thought he cared; he'd always mess things up. The chest under his bed mocked him. That stupid chest of stupid items he had collected over the years. No, not collected,  _ stole _ . The contemptible urge that forever plagued his mind reared up again and Ranboo found himself standing up once on wobbly legs. 

  


His eyes scanned the home until they landed on the ladder to go up to the attic. The endermen hybrid's mind went strangely blank as he wrapped long, slender fingers around the rungs of the wooden ladder with a grip that screamed shame, shame, shame. It took only a second for him to stand up on the attic floor. A bed was in the corner and a few barrels and chests lined the walls. Ranboo’s hands immediately reached out for the nearest chest and pried it open with shaky hands.

  


Various items stared back at his tear welled eyes. He dug around carelessly through said items until he pulled out a shiny, smaller than average emerald. Something had been carved into the side of it but Ranboo didn't bother reading it before he shoved it into his jacket pocket. He moved onto the next chest, and the next and the barrel next to that until he had scoured through all of them. His pockets sat dreadfully heavy, jewelry spilled out, the emerald sat the heaviest at the bottom, and a small notebook with notes on-- well Ranboo didn't look through the thing before pocketing it. 

  


Ranboo’s hand patted at his jacket as a quiet sob ripped through his body. Realization of how messed up all the chests and barrels were hit him like a train and finally, colored tears of disappointment dripped down his cheeks. Even if he put everything back-- which he knew he wouldn't be able to now-- he knew that as much as some of the urge had gone down now that the items were stashed away on his person, they weren't hidden away yet and the feeling wouldn't leave until they were sat snuggly unearth his bed in that chest. 

  


The sound of the front doors opening with their loud squeaks put a stop to the quiet wails of the hybrid. Phil and Techno’s voices filtered throughout the house, both clearly tired from their trip out. Ranboo spared a glance outside to the now dark sky then to the light from downstairs. He was stood far enough from the ladder that he wasn't visible by looking up into the attic but any movement would alert both men of his presence. 

  


“Phil, did you leave the fire going?” Techno’s muddled tone was evident even with how muffled it was through the floor. The sounds of feet shuffling across wooden floors paused before Phil let out a soft hum of his own confusion.

  


“No, I put it out before we left, Tech. Maybe Ranboo stopped by. It is cold out and we both know that hut isn't keeping him warm,” the blonde's voice was quickly drowned out by the hybrid's fear. 

  


_ They know you're here, they know, they know they know they know they kn- _ \- only a soft vwhoop sound warned Ranboo before he stumbled into his hut. Red, green and purple particles trailed behind him until he fell face first into his bed. His heart beat against his rib cage angrily and the items burned through his jacket as they uncomfortably stabbed at his stomach. The endermen hybrid let himself laugh for a moment, teleporting always brought a funny feeling to his chest. Too bad he only ever teleported when he was about to die or past the point of stable thought.


	2. I Don't Mean to Cry

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yesterday flashed like a neon sign somewhere in the back of his mind-- the chest now slightly more full-- the pressure kept building between his brows but he tried to fight the thoughts, choosing to have a staring contest with the flickering flames. It worked, for a little bit. At least Phil had not brought up any missing items nor had Techno been around to say anything either. Techno or Phil, ender, Ranboo didn't know who he was more scared of. They were both scary in their own ways. Technoblade and his brute force and tactical thinking then Phil with the way all he had to do was look at someone and they’d spill every secret they knew. A shiver racked his body, he’d rather do anything other than think of that right now.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> welcome to chap 2 :]

“Is there anything else we could do to make this more homey for those dogs?” Phil placed a glove hand over his bucket hat in thought. Yesterday he and Techno went out for more dogs after Techno had lost nearly half of them on the trip to the woodland mansion. They may have gone overboard, the winged man would admit, the jump from 16 dogs to nearly 30 made the dog kennel a little too cramped.

“I think we’ve done all we can, Phil,” Ranboo set his own gloved hands on his hips as he surveyed the front of the kennel. They had made the kennel wider and found more blankets to store inside, and of course they had put more chests of rotten flesh and bones inside as well but other than that, there wasn't much the two could add anymore. 

Ender knew all three of them had enough rotten flesh combined to feed an army of hundreds of dogs. Ranboo snorted softly at the thought of Techno standing triumphant while leading an army of invisible dogs with only red particles showing their existence. It was terrifying, he ultimately decided. 

The two stood side by side for a few moments longer before Phil clapped a hand down on the taller boy's shoulder, ignoring the way Ranboo’s eyes widened in confusion before turning to glance over his face. “Join me and Tech for dinner tonight, it's been two days since you’ve last joined us kid. You shouldn't be eating out in the cold like this all the time.” The ender hybrid brought a hand to rub at the back of his neck, clearly Phil wasn't asking him, he was basically telling him to go have dinner with the two.

“Uh, sure, Phil. Thanks,” Ranboo’s own voice was apprehensive but once again Phil paid no mind before turning away, dragging Ranboo with him, and together they made the short walk to the cabin.

“Is there anything you want specifically for dinner?” Phil led the ender hybrid to sit in front of the fire before heading into the kitchen.

“Mhm, anythings fine,” The boy answered back with a shrug. “I’m not picky.”

Phil only raised an eyebrow before starting to pull things from cupboards and getting to work. Ranboo sat staring into the fire. As much as he didn’t want to notice the way the whole situation felt familiar--  _ in one too many ways _ \-- he couldn't stop his brain from reminding him of his freak out over losing Ranbun and the way if he looked over, he could point out stray rabbit hair left behind from that night. He felt bad, like  _ overwhelmingly _ bad about the white and black fur Ranbunny had left behind her when he picked her up from their nap. 

_ Yesterday _ flashed like a neon sign somewhere in the back of his mind--  _ the _ chest now slightly more full-- the pressure kept building between his brows but he tried to fight the thoughts, choosing to have a staring contest with the flickering flames. It worked, for a little bit. At least Phil had not brought up any missing items nor had Techno been around to say anything either. Techno or Phil, ender, Ranboo didn't know who he was more scared of. They were both scary in their own ways. Technoblade and his brute force and tactical thinking then Phil with the way all he had to do was look at someone and they’d spill every secret they knew. A shiver racked his body, he’d rather do anything other than think of  _ that _ right now.

The downstairs door squeaked open quickly before being slammed shut. Grumbles and shuffles echoed up the ladder hole before Techno’s head of long pink hair peaked up through. Ranboo and Techno made eye contact, but the endermen hybrid hastily looked away, instead opting for giving a soft “hello” as a welcome. The piglin hybrid huffed back before clambering off towards Phil in the kitchen.

Their voices mingled together in soft conversation Ranboo tuned out. No matter how he tried to ignore the deja vu washing over his lanky body, there wasn't anything he could do to stop it. It was an unstoppable force that brought a spark of pain to the boy's heart. 

Was it the deja vu that made his heart pick up or the shame? Well, Ranboo couldn't answer that. He couldn't answer the question even if he  _ wanted _ to. What if they knew, like he had thought they knew yesterday as he hid up in their attic, and this was just his last meal before being sent off to lose his first life. Death scared him, but would they kill him over a few lost items?  _ Not lost, stolen _ , his own mind scolded. And yet, that stupid thought revealed itself through the hidden chaos of his mind. 

“No, I won't do it--” Ranboo hunched over himself, his hands clenching and unclenching the fabric of his jacket--  _ the jacket you stuffed all things into when you sto--  _ “Shut  _ up-- _ ”  _ It’d be so easy, to grab something from downstairs or maybe upstairs again. Just stand up and go, they won't know--  _

“Ranboo,” Phil hollered from the kitchen, “dinner, come sit at the table.”

The ender hybrid let himself take a deep breath before standing on jelly legs and hobbling over to the table and letting himself fall into a chair. An empty bowl and a glass of water greeted him and he instantly reached for the water and took a sip. When his mouth had grown so dry was unknown but it was overly uncomfortable now. The blonde placed a pot of stew on the table and sat himself down. He gently scooped some of the steaming mixture into his own bowl before wordlessly handing the ladle over to the endermen hybrid. Ranboo eagerly filled his bowl, he didn't want to take all their food but he was hungry. It had been a  _ while _ since he had such amazing stew.

Techno lowered down into his own chair across from Ranboo and got his own stew. Together, the three of them sat in comfortable silence as they all scarfed down their food. Phil liked quiet dinners like this, no tension or arguments. Just enjoyment of each other's company. It didn't happen often-- especially in the server they currently resided in-- so he cherished the feeling. 

Even after Phil set down his bowl, he simply sat and watched as the other ate their fill. It was painfully obvious Ranboo didn't eat enough for someone of his age and height, and Techno often forgot to take care of himself in general. The similarities between the two were sometimes worrisome but it was also a pleasant thing to see the more the ender hybrid came out of his shell. 

“That was really good,” Ranboo placed down his bowl with a soft sigh, an easy smile adorned his face as he looked over at the winged man at the head of the table, “thank you. Your cooking always amazes me.”

Phil waved his hand dismissively, “this stew was nothing too hard to make. I’d be glad to teach you how to make if, if you’d like.”

The way the hybrid's eyes lit up was an answer in of itself, but he eagerly nodded. Techno watched the two talk as they continued on, he and Phil shared the same sentiment: having this kid around was refreshing. Always eager to help out, he was always respectful when he came to visit inside the house. Techno tried to tell the kid it was  _ his _ house as well but Ranboo didn't refer to it as such. That was fine, in due time he supposed.

He silently observed the conversation, then let his mind wander. To the fire place, out the window, to the couch with messed up blankets, to the ladder going downstairs then finally up to the hole in the ceiling leading up to the attic. 

The attic. 

“Phil, did you find any of your jewelry?” Techno wondered out loud, eyes still on the attic entrance. 

“No, unfortunately. I could've sworn I left them upstairs but I probably just left them somewhere else,” the older blonde laughed. The idea wasn't too far of a reach, Phil was organized but even he misplaced things. 

“Huh, maybe,” the piglin huffed, letting his eyes fall back to the table. He didn't miss the way Ranboo had straightened up in his seat, the easy going air had shifted as Techno let his eyes narrow in on the ender hybrid. “I can't find the emerald you gave me either. I don’t think I’ve moved it since you gave it to me but eh, oh well. But, kid, ya’ good?” 

“I’m fine,” Ranboo choked out. He had managed to forget already about yesterday but he felt like he was dying all over again-- before he actually started dying, the boy abruptly stood up, “thanks for dinner, Phil, but I think it's time I got back home. I've overstayed my welcome, thanks again, though!”

Techno slid his chair back and stood up-- he was a few inches shorter than the endermen hybrid but he wasn’t lanky like Ranboo was. He was intimidating beyond words. 

“Ranboo, did you come inside yesterday while me n’ Phil were out?” 

“I--uh no! Of course I didn't, why would I do that?” 

“Kid, it's fine if you did, don’t lie to me--”

“I really didn't! I promise I didn’t--”

“ _ Ranboo _ .”

Ranboo’s eyes snapped over to Phil’s, the winged man now standing up as well with slightly puffed out feathers. 

“Techno’s right, it's fine if you came in yesterday. You don't have to lie, you're always welcome in. You could never overstay your welcome, promise you kid.” A moment's pause hung over the three, “sit back down, you two.”

Immediately Ranboo was sat back in his chair, Techno following a second behind. 

“Ok, good. Ranboo, you didn't do anything wrong, you're fine.” Phil pushed himself back in, hands folding neatly on the table. Somehow, the kid stiffened up even more.

“And Techno, I can just get you another emerald, don't stress. But, Ranboo, if you see any jewelry laying around anywhere or a small emerald, let me know, okay? Me and Tech seemed to have misplaced a few things.” 

Ranboo only hummed, but the obvious warble of an endermen followed afterwards. To say the kid was embarrassed would be an understatement. 

“Ranboo, is something the matter?” The boy only shook his head, but his eyes welled up in tears anyways.

“I’m… I’m sorry..” Techno and Phil shared a look, the piglin hybrid was clearly uncomfortable watching the kid cry but Phil leveled him with a stern look, rooting him to his seat.

“I didn't want to, I didn't want to-- but I  _ did _ want to and it's horrible because I.. I can't stop it no matter how much I try to ignore it--'' he continued on with shaking shoulders, “please don't be mad, please you have to understand I didn't-- but I  _ did _ take them but I don't know why I keep doing it… Phil I’m so sorry….”

Phil’s hands landed on Ranboo’s shoulders, gently guiding him from the hard wooden chair over to the couch. The hybrid just let himself be moved, and when he sat down on the couch, he curled up into the corner. The older blonde settled himself next to Ranboo, pulling his curled up body to lean against him.

It was comfortable to be leaning against someone else. No questions were asked as the ender hybrid calmed himself down. Phil lightly brushed his fingers through his matted hair, not mentioning the soft chirps he got in response. Techno put everything away as quietly as possible, not wanting to disrupt the two, before moving himself to be sat on the other side of the couch next to the winged man. 

The three sat in comforting silence again, the few sounds of the fire popping and Ranboo’s sniffles and chirps were soft and welcomed. Moving his hand from the ender hybrid's hair to rub his shoulder, Phil broke the peaceful atmosphere.

“You're going to have to let us know what that was about, you don't have to right now but soon, alright? Can’t keep all your thoughts bundled up in that head of yours all the time.”

Ranboo nodded softly against the man's chest before shutting his eyes completely. Phil stayed awake, staring into the fire with tired eyes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
> 
> is all i have to say
> 
> anywho !!!!!!! feel free to come talk to me about writing or art or mcyt in general on my twt (@ramtooshort) or just scream in the comments, up to you
> 
> kudos and comments always appreciated ! reminder: i love you :] /p

**Author's Note:**

> ello, hope you like it thus far
> 
> literally two days i thought of a hc where ranboo has kleptomania but it was because i wanted to project but now,,,, im runnin with it. i know kleptomania is much more than what ive protrayed in this but once again, this was originally me projecting but ive put,, so much into this,,,,,,, hours,,,, so many hours,,,, my brain kind of hurts but eh
> 
> i feel bad for putting ranboo through angst seeing as everyone else is as well but,,, hes so easy to write angst for whoops


End file.
